Missy's Moments

Lilah aka "Lils" is ONE today! The first year flew by WAY to fast! Your spunky, little (and I only mean physically little) go getting self brings us so much joy. Your little "dance", your love for all things food, the way you light up when you see your favorite people and that serious thoughtful look when your evaluating your not so favorite people. I can't wait to watch you continue to learn and discover this next year. Grandma loves you sweet girl. Happy Birthday! 🎂

Marriage is so many things, so many emotions, so much weird, so much wonderful, some days roll along, some days can't get over soon enough and some days you just want  never to end. It seems as if every year our marriage has had some kind of challenge, some obstacle, changes, additions and as of late losses. I'm forever grateful that at the end of the day WE choose to sail whatever waters life brings us together.

At least they were all kind of looking <3

This year has been by far one of the most difficult. The loss of now three beautiful humans from this side of heaven. My Aunt just 53 has been gone since July. Her children left with a void. The sting of her passing still fresh, time eases the pain but I am reminded again and again for her children life is forever different. Our sweet Brielle gone for 3 months tomorrow. She would have been 11 months old  today. I have reminders of her every where, literally everywhere , but those reminders keep close the love she brought to us. I know there will be a day where I will need to start to let that go but my prayer is that I will take all she gave me during her short time here and use it to benefit others. She deserves that and so much more. Yesterday Rick's mom passed after a 11 day illness. So different from Deborah and Brielle, She was ready, she longed for heaven, she got to see her family, friends and spend time with her loved ones, her 7 days in hospice was a formality while she

I could name so much to be thankful for but mainly I'm just thankful. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for friends both new and old. I am thankful for memories and time spent with my grand babies. I am thinking a lot about my sweet cousins today spending their first thanksgiving without my Aunt Deborah, I wish we could be together and share our Minnesota cold, our fun and a good hot dish with you. I'm thinking about the families with littles in the hospital and am praying that today n ot be a roller coaster of emotion but filled with memories of the time that is spent together. I'm thinking there are many entering this season with loss and I pray just like I have been ,that you be reminded daily of all that is, and be thankful that you had and all that was. I am thankful Brielle was with us and so wish we could snuggle with her. I am thankful for the grace that extends to me daily in a love so unmistakable from a Savior that really is the reason for it all. Hap

Copied from Jordan: If roses grow in heaven, Lord please pick a bunch for me. Place them in my daughters arms and tell her they're from me.  Tell her I love and miss her, and when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for awhile. Because remembering her is easy, I do it every day. But there's an ache within my heart, that will never go away. Brielle you've been gone for two months today, makes for a rough Monday. Watch over us, let us know you're here! We miss you sunshine! Love Daddy

Yesterday you would have been 9 months old, today marks a month you've been away from us. It's only been a month but yet it feels so long ago. I sat at your resting place yesterday and closed my eyes to imagine the touch of your soft head, the feel of your cheeks on my lips, your rolls and that mighty grip you gave. The amazingly funny looks you could give and that bigger than any obstacle sass you could send out. Many people don't realize your trach was supposed to keep us from hearing your voice but you managed to let that voice escape the last few weeks. Seems small but to us it was the most beautiful sound. As I sat I remembered all the wires. Countless needles and lines and sticks, the tie changes and dressing changes, and of course that stupid wound vac- all things necessary and all things you are freed from. Never again baby girl will you experience pain and you will forever breath deep. There is confront knowing you are safe and with Jesus and most of all knowing so

Journal entry by Missy Eagen — 9/22/2016 We have been using Facebook as our means of providing updates. Over the last couple of days at least 2 friends have mentioned this was their source to hear how Brielle is doing. As I was reading the journals from those first months I was reminded once again of the strength Brielle showed, she hasn't lost the fight but her body could no longer keep up with it. Brielle is now with us in our hearts, we have etched her soft cheeks and fun looks in our minds and she will missed until that day in heaven we are reunited with her. ❤️️ (taken from cb)

Brielle Ann Heyer entered our hearts even before she entered the world on January 20,2016. She taught us very early on there was "our time" and then there was "Brielle time". What started as one of the scariest days turned into the first day of the fiercest most blessed journey we've been honored to take. Jordan and Beca were reminded again and again that Brielle was strong and determined and through her strength they became stronger. When days turned into months Brielle often brought her family together in the walls of a place that became all to familiar. Among those walls there are angels with skin, they loved Brielle when we couldn't, they loved on her, they loved on us, their care was never ending even after the end. Just after midnight September 21, 2016 at 8 months old Brielle felt fresh air, she got to breath it in as Jesus completely healed her. In the presence of all those who just wanted one thing... for Brielle to know she was loved. Brielle wil

Our dearest Brielle- how do we even explain the ways you've impacted our lives. Sweet girl you are healed and safe in the arms of Jesus. We are heartbroken but it is only because of the great love you brought to us all. You are forever in our hearts. Brielle entered into the arms of Jesus at 12:39am, September 21st surrounded by family and in the arms of her Mommy and Daddy. 💕

Brielle has had a big week preparing for yet another big day. Last Friday there was a care conference regarding Brielle's care both while she is in the hospital and long term cares at home. The first step to getting Brielle closer to home (and when I say closer I mean not for months) is a procedure in which she will have a tracheotomy. A trach is done on babies that are going to need long term respiratory support. The trach will allow for Miss B to have all that "stuff" out her mouth, off of her face and it will plain just be more comfortable for her. The hope is that the trach will also allow for her to be weaned off all the sedation medications that she is on. The vent that she currently has is not comfortable and when she wakes to much she gets agitated and it causes her oxygen needs to rise which in turn causes her O2 saturation levels to drop. Of course the other benefit of coming off the sedation is giving her the opportunity to experience more developmentally appro

Yesterday as I was reflecting on the 5 months Brielle has been with us I remembered I had this diaper from her first days in the NICU- it was big on her when she was born! Sweet girl has grown so much. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Beautiful girl is 5 months old today!! ♡♡♡

Brielle was a bit restless early in the day but a few full diapers later and she's all comfy and sleeping peacefully now. She looked so sweet when I stopped up and she has a new bear friend in her crib that vibrates. She loves for her bottom to be patted so the nurse said she used a blanket to get that bear in position to "pat" away! (taken from fb)

Brielle Ann... the most sweet, tough, adorable little girl ever! I can't believe you will be 5 months old in 3 days! Everyday you amaze me. Love you like crazy! Today was a great day for Miss Brielle

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  5/24/2016 Brielle is officially sporting a pacemaker. She did great in surgery and is settled into the CardiacICU. Hopefully her stay there will be brief and the recovery from this surgery uneventful.  Thanks for the prayers! (taken from cb)

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  5/14/2016 The NICU days continue on for Brielle- she is 16 weeks 3 days now, she weighs 6lbs 7oz. Brielle continues to use a CPAP which is different than the last update when she was still intubated. Today they unfortunately had to place another line in as her heart is not pacing itself well. The line would allow for a heart medication to be given if needed. There is talk again of a pacemaker which would correct her heart rhythm but require intubation again with another surgery. The surgery is far less invasive than the first heart surgery but at the end of the day it's another surgery. I'm sure the weekend will give cardiology time to make a decision unless of course Brielle in true Brielle fashion makes the decision for them. So we wait and cheer on the toughest little fighter we know! (taken from cb) heart

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/30/2016 On Thursday Brielle was moved off the Cardiac ICU and moved back to the NICU. She was 100 days old yesterday and She's 5lbs 1oz now! She's still on the ventilator and that will just take time as it allows her lungs to heal. Today she was sporting a sweet bow and was having a good day. Not a whole lot to report as she continues to grow stronger. We all look forward to some snuggles when she is off the ventilator! (taken from cb) heart

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/23/2016 Miss Brielle celebrated her due date this week and she's already 3 months old! Wednesday was the day they were able to close her chest and now we are working on shedding some of the tubes and medications. Everyday meds are getting weaned and tubes will be removed as tolerated. Brielle is more awake and it's so good to see her eyes looking bright and open. Healing is moving forward and probably the biggest prayer request is for her lungs to adjust to a properly working heart and to recover from surgery. Will update again when the ventilator is gone.  As always thank you for your love and prayers- this girl is our superstar 🌟

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/19/2016 Grandpa Shawn shared this on Facebook today. This morning Brielle was winking at me and I didn't understand. She was scheduled for surgery for her pacemaker this morning. We have all come to accept that she has a permanent and complete heart block requiring a permanent pacemaker. She was also struggling with breathing this morning which is even scarier going in to surgery. I was sitting in the chair praying for her to find the strength to overcome yet another challenge as she struggled on her ventilator. At that moment the cardiology team came in for her final pre-surgery prep. They turned off her temporary pacemaker for one last test. To everyone's amazement, she suddenly developed her own rhythm and her heart worked normally. As of this moment she is off the temporary pacemaker and her heart is working on its own. Her breathing and oxygen levels have also stabilized. I guess she had a reason to be winking... POWER OF PRAYER!!

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/13/2016 This last week has felt so long. I long for Brielle to be past this part of her journey. I know any of us would take this from her if we could. When Brielle first entered the world the NICU terrified me, I messaged friends that had preemies and said "what does all this mean, is this normal, how did you get through this?" Can I just tell you that we long for the comfort of the NICU again- really puts this into perspective as suddenly it doesn't seem scary but a place of safety. She is a tiny baby who needs to be cuddled and grow. Sweet Brielle is a fighter- she is amazing and I can't wait for days of cuddles. Tonight when I peeked in on her she opened her eyes a bit and looked around as if she was saying "what is going on in here?!" I prayed over her and rubbed the parts of her body that don't have monitors or tubes or lines. I am grateful she will never remember these days. Tomorrow they will do another

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/16/2016 Miss Brielle had another "wash out" on Thursday as planned, that went well but for whatever reason Dr. Said held off in the full closure on Friday. The plan right now is Tuesday, along with the pacemaker being placed. She has had some uneventful days, she continues to rest and heal. No news is good news.... Or stable news... Praying Tuesday is the day. (taken from cb)

Journal entry by  Jordan Heyer  —  4/12/2016 Hello, Yesterday Brielle was back in the operating room to replace a couple lines and clean things out. Doc said everything looks good and they are pleased with her progress. There biggest focus right now is getting some of the fluid off of her because she is retaining so much and it leaves them no choice but to leave her open to relieve the pressure on her heart and lungs. This morning that continues to be the goal, giving her meds to help to pee those extra fluids out. Last night her left lung collapsed while they were turning and suctioning her. It's always hard to here that as those tiny lungs had to work so hard to get where they where at and now it feels like she has gone backwards a bit. In a sense she has but it's a balancing act- the heart repair became necessary to go forward. I think we all feel a bit helpless - and rightfully so. Brielle continues to give this her all and inspire us to push forward on this journe

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/8/2016 Yesterday there was a lot to think about, emotions were all over and quite honestly we were all so exhausted I'm not sure if we could have provided you all with an update. We continue to be so grateful for your prayers, kind words and encouragement. Here is the "short" version of yesterday and today.   Thursday morning : During the night going into day 1 post op Brielle's right lung collapsed- they had to re-open her chest to relieve pressure allowing it to re inflate. As scary as this sounds they watch for this and many times patients come out of the OR with the chest open and it stays like that until the swelling and pressure ease. Again one of those "normal" scenarios but nothing feels normal or right about it for us. We continue to trust in the wonderful doctors and nurses that we know are caring so well for her.  Another complication that was watched for and caught  early was a blood clot in her leg. After

Journal entry by  Jordan Heyer  —  4/6/2016 Drainage tubes, 15+ medications being administered, intubation, temporary pacemaker, all the things the doctor described to us as normal. Now maybe they see that all the time, but as her father, seeing Brielle this way was heart wrenching and something I could have never prepared myself for. Trying to remember that this is all ultimately for her greater good is so hard when just this morning I cuddled her with only an oxygen mask, and tonight she lays there looking almost as rough as her first day of life! Learning to trust these physicians and nurses has been something Beca and I have had to do, tonight brings that to a completely different level. It's scary, terrifying, yet she is "fixed". It's been a very long 15 hours and we are very blessed by the multitude of prayers and positive thoughts. Not to mention the most supportive family and friends we could ever ask for. I think this leg of our journey has a few more da

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/6/2016 Around 8:16 Brielle was taken to the OR and at 10:22 surgery began. The next update from medical staff will come when she's on bypass. 11:38- Brielle is on bypass and so far all is going well. 6:30- Uneventful is the word that surgeons like to use and that is what we heard. Brielle is off of bypass and moving into the cardiac ICU. The surgeon said all went as expected with no complications during the repairs. They were able to successfully repair both holes and her little lungs did great!  We are so thankful for a loving family and friends. We will be able to see her soon and then hopefully some much needed sleep for all! Missy 

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/5/2016 Wednesday April 6th Brielle will undergo open heart surgery to repair 2 VSD's (holes in her heart). To read more about a VSD you can go  HERE . Please keep our girl in your prayers. We will update here tomorrow as we know more. Missy 

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  4/1/2016 Friends/Family- A few days ago Brielle was put back on CPAP- her CO2 gases were just to high and her lungs were working entirely to hard. As a result the Cardiologist ordered another echo on her heart. Her VSD is making it challenging to say the least for her lungs to do what they are supposed to do, the hole in her heart is large and the original hope was that a repair could be put off until 4-6 months past her due date but that is not going to happen. We don't have an exact day but she is facing open heart surgery in the next week or two. Jordan and Beca will meet with the cardiologist hopefully over the weekend and get some more specific answers as to when they decide it's time. Yesterday her oxygen stats kept dipping down and I think in true Brielle fashion she is letting them know she is ready. Our little miracle girl is about 4lbs 10oz now and is 10 weeks 3 days.  Big brother has had a nasty bug with a temp for a couple days n

Journal entry by  Jordan Heyer  —  3/27/2016 Today Brielle celebrated her first Easter and got to explore the grounds of eating orally. She did very well and managed to put down around 10ccs. She got pretty wore out but the nurses made it very clear that for her first oral feed, she did exceptional. 😄       Uncle Eric and Sam also got to see her today and Grandpa Rick held her for the first time. She was rockin a pretty cute Easter hat, that also could have sufficed for a sleeping bag for the little peanut. She weighs 4lbs 4oz, exactly double her birth weight. She is currently on the waiting list to be transferred out of the NICU and into the Infant Special Care Nursery over at Methodist.  She is undergoing a sleep study tonight so they can get a better idea of her oxygen needs following  discharge. No exact date has been set but they're anticipating that in about 3 weeks she will no longer be in inpatient care.  We hope you all had a blessed Easter and thank you again for all

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  3/20/2016 Today Brielle is 2 Months old  She - celebrated with a bath  - enjoyed a visit from all 4 grandparents, Mom, Dad and brother Bennett  - heard talk of tentative DISCHARGE date in 4 weeks - loves to suck on a pacifier  - has the CPAP back at low setting pending an echo this week (they warned us it may take a few try's)  - weighs 3 lbs 13.7 oz - reminds us daily of Gods faithfulness!  Happy First Day of Spring 🌺

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  3/17/2016 Words can't convey the JOY we felt when we arrived at the NICU today to see this girls uncovered CPAP FREE face! Oh she has the cutest little nose you ever did see. The nurse practitioner stopped in and said the next step is learning how to eat orally and then home! HOME - Sounds easier said than probably done but Brielle never ceases to amaze us and we are praying that she masters eating while remembering to breathe like the fighter she is.  She is 3lbs 12oz and wakes now for periods of time, she is enjoying her paci here and there and is quite a sweet girl to snuggle into a recliner with. Her due date is in 5 weeks and she is 8 weeks old.  As always thank you for your prayers!  Happy St Patrick's Day! 🍀 heart

Journal entry by  Missy Eagen  —  3/9/2016 Hello Everyone! Brielle is due in 6 weeks but 7 weeks old So crazy to think about that! I see other Mamas with the discomfort of late pregnancy and can't help but think about how much is taken for granted. We continue to be so grateful for Brielle and exceptional medical care and God's faithfulness each day.  There is a care conference tomorrow with her doctors, Beca and Jordan.  Today's eye exam went well and the nurse said she LOVES bath time!🛀🏽  Brielle is 3lbs 7.7 oz - just think before we know it she will have doubled her birth weight!  Thank you for your continued prayers! Please know no news is good news but we will try to not let 2 weeks slip by again without an update 🙂 (taken from cb)

Journal entry by Jordan Heyer — 2/23/2016 Yesterday Brielle had another echo done on her heart, it was just to make sure neither of the defects had got any worse. What they didn't expect to find was that one of the defects is no longer present. The Double outlet, that she was going to live her whole life with seems to have repaired itself or by some miracle been fixed. The VSD, which is the one they expect to have to go in a repair is still present. We asked the doctors how this happened and they stated very simply that it is a miracle and there really isn't a medical explanation for it. Beca and I are still trying to grasp this concept, seems to good to be true. But that's what they said. I then asked about the VSD, if the double outlet is gone is there a chance the Vsd could go away as well? According to all there experience and knowledge the answer is no, but they said based upon the things Brielle has done and shown them there really isn't a right answer. It cou

Journal entry by Missy Eagen — 2/21/2016 Brielle's feeds started again yesterday- going in fine but still working on that going out part. Pray for poop people- God's good with our requests and know it's cause we love this peanut! 🙏🏼 Jordan and I were visiting during cares and Jordan got to help - pretty exciting to see that she is now in the 3pound club! I was pretty entertained by watching Jordan change that tiny diaper. Tomorrow is an echo to check her heart. 3.064lbs 💕 Brielle

Journal entry by Missy Eagen — 2/20/2016 Brielle doesn't have a birthday cake yet but she did get to begin feeds again today for celebrate her first month with us. We are praying that it travels in AND out well and in a timely manner. I continue to be amazed at the fact her 10.5 oz gain from her birth weight really shows. Never thought I'd say a nearly 3lb baby looks "big" to me. It's all about perspective! Not much to report- heard her sweet cry today, watched her suck a pacifier which can get tricky for preemies but she was rocking it! Just sat and stared and felt such gratitude for how far she has come. Brielle your tiny self has added big love to our families- happy one month baby girl 💕 Read More of the journal titled "One Month"   (taken from CB)